Sometimes finding the right songs
for the biggest moments of your wedding can be a daunting
task. After all, there’s much you need to consider (like you
don’t have enough stuff to stress out about already!).
Have no fear; it
doesn’t have to be a stressful situation. Here are some
things to consider when choosing those special songs for
your big day.
Bridal Dance – This is THE most important song of the night.
Next to seeing you kiss at the altar at the end of the
ceremony, this is the one of your most romantic events; your
big moment alone on the dance floor. So the song has to be
special.
There are three very important things to remember when
choosing songs. These may seem obvious, but you’d be
surprised. Plus these “rules” apply to any song chosen for
any of the ceremonial dances.
1. Make sure the song you choose is one that the two of you
can actually dance to! You may be able to tear up a dance
floor, but your groom may have two left feet. Picking a song
with an odd tempo may make him feel awkward, especially out
on a dance floor in front of his friends and family. Try to
keep it simple.
2. Make sure both of you actually LIKE the song. For
example, you may really like Lonestar’s “Amazed”, but if
country music makes your groom’s teeth itch, you need to
choose another song. Or, he may really like that “one”
Metallica ballad, but you hate it. Next, please.
3. Is the song appropriate for a bridal dance? Let’s face
it…you may both really like the song, but “Love Bites” by
Def Leppard does NOT make a good bridal song. Don’t
laugh…it’s happened! (And there were many rather confused
wedding guests that night).
Still, sometimes you may think that you don’t have a song
that is “yours”. What was the first song the two of you
danced to? Is there a ballad by an artist that the two of
you are big fans of? Was there a song playing in the
background the night he proposed to you? These are things to
think about.
If that doesn’t seem to work, start listening to songs on
the radio a bit closer. Listen to the lyrics. Eventually you
will find a song that will express what you want to say to
each other on your wedding day…and that’s your song!
Another thing you may want to consider is the length of the
song. “In Your Eyes” may be the perfect song for you, but
the track is nearly 6 minutes long. That’s a long time to be
out there - the two of you…alone with everyone’s eyes upon
you…feeling paranoid yet? Don’t be afraid to ask your DJ to
fade the song out early.
The main thing to remember - this is your big moment. Make
it special not only for you, but for your guests as well.
Bridal Party Dance – The first question we often get
regarding this song is “Does the bride & groom stay on the
dance floor during this dance?” The answer is “Yes”. It
looks a little strange when the bride and groom leave the
dance floor with their closest friends on it.
Some couples are choosing to combine the bridal dance and
the bridal party dance -- one song for everything. This is a
good idea if you have a small bridal party or if you are
uncomfortable being the center of attention. Whatever you
decide to do comes down to planning; making sure you let
your DJ and your bridal party know what you want to do, i.e.
when you want the bridal party to join you on the dance
floor.
Some couples have chosen to allow their party members to
dance with their significant others instead of whom they
walked down the aisle with. This is fine, and may save a few
awkward (and jealous) moments, but make sure that this is
planned out with your DJ and your bridal party in advance.
Doing this will double the number of people on your dance
floor and a larger group of people will be a bit harder to
keep in one place for very long. Make sure everyone knows
what the plan is and what is expected of them. Plus, it is
imperative that you have everyone’s names at the time of
your consultation. Adding names at the last minute does
increase the possibility of your DJ making an error, and we
HATE making errors. But we are only human. The more you plan
it, the easier it will go for everyone involved.
Some brides have been willing to drop the bridal party dance
all together in favor of making life easier for everyone,
avoiding awkward moments or because they just want to get to
the party. This is fine, but keep in mind that the bridal
party dance is a great opportunity for your photographer to
get some good shots of your bridal party. If you still feel
that you want to drop the bridal dance, make arrangements
with your photographer to get pictures of your party during
the day.
Having said all of this, actually choosing a bridal party
song tends to be a bit easier. If you have been trying to
choose between two songs for your bridal dance, you can use
both; one song for the two of you and one for your bridal
party.
You can also choose to be a bit light-hearted with this.
“Friends In Low Places” can work, as does “With a Little
Help From My Friends”.
Again, think about songs that may have special meaning to
those you have chosen to stand up with you. For example, I
attended a bonfire once with a number of good friends and
there was a moment when someone pulled out a guitar and
played “You’ve Got a Friend”…and there we all were; swaying
back and forth. singing loudly, A couple of years later, one
of the attendees at that bonfire remembered this and chose
that song to be their bridal party dance. And sure enough,
that moment happened again on the dance floor. Consult with
the members of your bridal party; they can be a good source
of ideas.
As before, another thing to keep in mind is the length of
the song. For example, if you want your DJ to introduce your
best man and maid of honor, the other 16 members of your
bridal party, both sets of parents, and acknowledge your
flower girls and ring bearers, choosing a short 2 minute
long song like “What a Wonderful World” is NOT a good idea.
The song will end before your parents are brought out onto
the dance floor! Conversely, choosing a 5 ½ minute long song
like Celine Dion’s “Because You Loved Me” when there are
only 3 couples to introduce is a bit much. Again, feel free
to have your DJ fade the song out early.
The main thing to remember is that this is your moment to
share with the people closest to you. Make it meaningful,
make it fun, and make it special.
Daddy/Daughter Dance – This is, of course, a tradition, but
this doesn’t mean you have to be traditional about it. Sure,
“Daddy’s Little Girl” is still used. Of course “Butterfly
Kisses” was created for this moment. And it seems nowadays
that there’s a new song coming out of Nashville about once a
month that’s tailor made for the daddy/daughter dance.
The main thing to remember is that this symbolizes your
“last” dance that your father will have with his
now-no-longer little girl, so this is a song that should be
special to both of you. This doesn’t mean it has to be a
sappy moment. You can have fun with this if you like. It all
depends on the personalities of yourself and your father.
Naturally, your best bet is to consult with your father, and
your mother as well (mothers tend to remember things better
than fathers sometimes!).
One great example…one of our DJs was asked to play “Puff the
Magic Dragon” as the daddy/daughter dance recently. This may
seem like it’s an odd choice at first, but this was a song
that the bride’s father would sing to his young children
when they would go to bed at night. So when the song was
played at her wedding, both the bride and her father were in
tears, as were the bride’s siblings gathered at the edge of
the dance floor. In fact, there wasn’t a dry eye in the
house as 180 guests began singing along with the song! In
another very similar situation, “On Top of Spaghetti” was
once used, apparently having something to do with the
bride’s love of spaghetti when she was a child. If there’s a
song like this in your family history, use it!
In yet another example, a bride’s father was once considered
a great disco dancer, so the bride chose “Last Dance” by
Donna Summer…and then had the DJ open the dance floor to all
of the guests when the song’s disco beat kicked in. So it
need not be what “everyone else” does. Make the moment
unique and special.
Mother/Son Dance – There are tons of ideas for
daddy/daughter dances, but seemingly few choices for the
mother/son dance. This isn’t necessarily true; they’re just
not so obvious sometimes. The same rules apply as with the
daddy/daughter dance; if there’s a song in your groom’s
family history that means a lot to them, use it!
The daddy/daughter dance may get most of the attention, but
the mother/son dance is JUST as important to your groom and
his mother. Usually your groom’s mother will have ideas, but
don’t keep your groom out of the loop!
There are a few other points during the course of your
reception that will require some music to help make the
moments special. It may not seem like a big deal, but having
music for these moments add to the overall presentation at
your reception. They help set the mood and tone of the
entire evening. Let’s take a look…
Introduction Music – This is the big moment; your Grand
Entrance when you and your groom are first brought into the
hall to the cheers of all your friends and loved ones who
have gathered to celebrate your wedding. So naturally, you
will want to choose music to highlight the moment.
There are a few things to consider. Will the bridal party
also be introduced at this point? Will your parents also be
introduced? Do you want one song for everyone, or do you
want a separate song for your bridal party and one for you
and your groom? Do you want something a bit mellow for your
parents to walk in to, and then get a bit louder as your
progress through the rest of the introductions?
Again, this is a BIG moment, and one you want to capitalize
on. Use this moment to really pump up your guests.
Having said that, this moment can be as full of pomp and
circumstance as you want, or can be as fun and rowdy as
you’d like. There are some “standards” such as
“Celebration”, “Let’s Get It Started” or “Get the Party
Started”. But our DJs have used everything from “Here Comes
the Bride” to the Austin Powers theme song, from “In the
Mood” to the Blues Brothers, from the Chicago Bulls theme
song to the Imperial March from “Star Wars”, from the U of M
fight song to one of the songs used for the “C.S.I.” TV
shows. As you can see, the possibilities here are quite
endless.
There are no real rules for this one, so you can be as
creative and individual as you like. Consult with your
bridal party for this one, and check out or list of ideas
here on our website.
Cake Cutting – Often couples will choose a song to highlight
the cake cutting ceremony. This one isn’t really a necessity
per se, but it does help to draw attention to the cake
cutting.
We recommend something upbeat or mid-tempo for this and keep
it light-hearted. And again, this can be almost anything.
Some couples choose to let their Grand Entrance song play
out if they go directly to the cake cutting after their
introduction.
“Love & Marriage” by Frank Sinatra is popular here, but
sometimes brides balk at using the theme to “Married With
Children” (remember the Bundys?). If nothing else it does
usually get a chuckle or two. Choosing a song with a food or
sweets theme, like “Ice Cream”, “Sugar Sugar”, “Sweetest
Thing” or “How Sweet It Is” always works. You can even go as
far as Weird Al’s “Eat It”. Again, this is a light moment so
have fun with it.
Bouquet Toss/Garter Removal/Garter Toss – This is something
we will be discussing more in a later column. If you decide
to do this, there will be several songs you will need; one
song for the ladies for the bouquet toss, one for the gents
for the garter toss, and a song for the garter removal.
There may be others needed as well, depending on what you
want to do. This is certainly the most lighthearted moment
of the evening so you can have fun with this as well. Just
remember…your grandmother is sitting right there…
How to find the songs – Didn’t think that there were this
many songs to choose, did you? Have no fear…we’re here to
help.
Most of the time there are obvious choices for your
ceremonial dances. There’s that one song that the two of you
have always considered “yours”. But maybe the choices aren’t
so obvious. So how to find them…?
First of all, start early. Don’t wait until the last minute
to choose the songs. These will be some of the most
important moments of your wedding. Take as much care in
choosing songs for these moments as you did in choosing the
hall, your flowers or your DJ!
Listen to the radio. Go to your music collection. Browse
through music stores. Poke around through iTunes or the
like. Ask your friends, especially those who have already
gotten married. Ask your family.
Now, all of this may seem like a lot to consider when
choosing songs, but it’s really much easier than it appears.
Don’t stress out about it! The main thing to remember is to
LISTEN. Don’t just go to iTunes and play snippets of songs.
Take a few minutes to really listen to some songs. Besides,
with all of the chaos normally associated with planning a
wedding, taking a few moments to sit back, relax, breathe
and listen will certainly help take some of the tension off.
Enjoy the process! Once you relax a bit, the right song will
come to you.
